There
was an air of somberness today at my daughters’ school. It was as if each of us
picking up our children for the day was afraid to even look too closely at one
another. Afraid to say that we were the lucky ones with children to take home
from school today. I learned early today of the tragedy in Connecticut from a
coworker, and it didn’t take long for the rumor mill to start and later for the
actual events to unfold to our collective horror.
I am a mother, of
course, but I am also a teacher and so this hit me on multiple levels. As a teacher, I go through preparedness
training - where to go and what to do in the unlikely chance that something
like this happens. In the event of many different emergencies, I have been
trained on whom to call, where to go, when to sit still and just protect my
children to the best of my ability. It’s something we talk about at staff
meetings and never think will actually happen on our watch. Today it happened
on the watch of many elementary school teachers, and my first thoughts were
about what that might have been like. I have already heard the myriad opinions
on gun control, and I will just say that today (or any day for that matter) I have
never, ever thought about being armed myself as a way to protect the children in
my care. That’s all I can say about that. What I think about first is what we all
do as teachers daily to keep kids safe: free from scraped knees, hurt feelings,
tumbles on the playground. Not
protecting them from an insane gunman. I just can’t…
As
a mother, the first thing I wanted to do when I heard this news was run to get
my children. My instinct to shelter them and protect them translated into my
giving my students lots of extra hugs this afternoon – something I hope my own
children’s teachers did for them. The thought of sending my children to school
in the morning and not seeing them ever again started to cross my mind and it
took me to a place so dark I just couldn’t think about it again.
I had memories of 9/11 this afternoon – of the morning we watched a tragedy unfold and were
told from afar that a loved one might have been on that first plane. I had
memories of the not knowing – of the thought that someone completely out of our
control (someone out of control in general) could come in and take away someone
so precious. So many precious someones were taken today and when I see
senseless tragedy like this, I am always reminded of what it felt like that on that Tuesday morning in September.
It’s true. Today I was a lucky
one. I picked my children up today and I held them close. I told them each how
much I love them, as, I’m certain, did many other parents. But my thoughts keep going to those parents who won’t ever have that opportunity again.
A friend of mine reminded
me of this Fred Rogers quote, “When I was a boy
and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look
for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” I’m so glad I saw this because it has been
what kept me going today. There are helpers out there. I am a helper…and I
would guess that you are, too. We
all just need reminders that there are more people who are kind and loving and
who want to keep our kids safe than there are crazed lunatics who will harm
them. I know this goes without
saying, but I hope you hug your children. Tell them you love them. Then, hug
and tell them a second time for all of the parents in Connecticut who won’t
ever have that chance again.
