Dear Lucy,
You are about to be fourteen years old. Just writing that
makes me want to cry a little bit. As you know, each year I write a little
something for birthdays, and I always go back to read what I’d written the year
before to see what has changed since then. Last year when you turned 13, I had my
friends (and your little group of other mothers) write you a little something
about becoming a teenager. I love that they gave you their own little pieces of
advice, and when I read what I wrote to you, it made me so happy because I think
you are truly taking some of what we told you to heart.
You don’t mind being different from other kids. You aren’t
afraid of being exactly who you are, and you don’t apologize for that. You wear
the clothes you want (even the “mom jeans” with the high waistbands that I secretly
think are awesome) and you listen to the music you like, without apology. This
year there’s been a lot of Billie Eilish, and also a lot of the Beatles. Two
musical sounds that couldn’t be more opposite. I love coming upstairs to hear
you playing one of my old Beatles albums. It reminds me of being a teenager and
discovering that music for the first time. It was like an entire universe was
being opened for me at that time, through that music, and I love that you’re
finding that, too. Just last weekend we were in the car, and you were putting
music on a playlist for us to listen to, and as I sat next to you I thought, “Man.
She is her own person now with her own tastes.” And while you might read that
and say, “DUH, mom” that moment truly struck me. This is what any parent wants
for her child, to grow up to be strong and have ideas of her own…and that is
exactly what is happening to you.
The thing is? You choosing the clothes you wear and the
stuff you like? I think kids actually want to hang out with you even MORE
because of that. You are so funny. You have comedic timing that I am so proud
of. That might sound weird, but the ONE thing I think human beings must have to
be successful members of society is a good sense of humor. I honestly worried a
little bit before I had you two that my kids wouldn’t be funny. Being funny is maybe
the number one trait I look for in people I want to be friends with, and I
worried that you two might not get that. Turns out, that was a completely
unfounded worry, because both you and your sister are hilarious. You, however,
have a knack for timing. For dropping a comment at just the right moment, and
that, sweet girl, is a gift. You do weird voices and accents like you were born
in those countries. I don’t know if it’s because you are also fluent in French
and have been surrounded with people from other countries and cultures your
whole life, but that, too, is a gift, and never fails to make me laugh.
In less than three days, you will leave with your eighth grade
class to go to New Orleans for a week long service project. I’m so excited for
you. And you, in true Lucy fashion, are worried sick about it. “Nervous-cited”
is what you like to call it. I know that
once you get on that bus, you will relax and have a wonderful time. I would
like to go on this trip – you’re going to do so many cool things in a city I’ve
always wanted to visit! And? You get to
spend your 14th birthday in the French Quarter with your friends.
How great is that? Being away from you on your birthday will be weird, but you
should know that as you get older, you may spend less of your actual birthdays
with your family. Birthdays can and should last for at least a week, don’t you
think? We’ll more than make up for it upon your return. I am certain that this
trip will change you in some way. I was 17 when I traveled to Spain with my dance
group. In hindsight, there are things about that trip that I would have
changed, but being away from my parents and traveling with my friends changed
who I was. It boosted my confidence. It made me more independent. It made me
know I could get around in this huge world. I know I was a little older, but I
suspect you’ll have a similar experience.
And then? You’ll be off to high school. You have so much amazing
stuff coming for you. I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself, but I’m already
excited to look back in a year and see what your 14th year brought for you. New school, new friends, new teachers and experiences. I am beyond excited
to see you navigate the next year of your life. And, once again, I need you to
know how proud I am to be your mama. You’re a good friend, a good humanitarian who believes strongly in justice and inclusion, and you don’t
act like a shitty teenager (at least not yet!), and I’m just so thankful that I
get to watch you grow into this amazing person you’ve become. Happy birthday,
Lu. I sure do love you.
Mama
