I’ve been thinking a lot about this over the last few days, and I guess I just needed to write this down. Yesterday a friend sent me a message about a family member of mine who has recently been outspoken about their political views. My friend was shocked at this development. I was not. Yes, I very much hope they and anyone else who feels that way are reading this right now. I began to think about this divide we have in our country, and apparently as well in our family, and how, for me, it’s just not something that I am ok with swallowing and accepting as the norm anymore.
When I was a kid, my Grandpa Bloom was an outspoken Republican. It was sort of a joke in our family that he and my dad would trade political punches during our visits to upstate New York. It was always in good humor. Always. I learned a lot from my Grandpa about what his party stood for (in the early 1980s, his Republicanism was very close in ideology to what most centrist Democrats think now) and I learned a lot from watching my dad and grandpa talk politics with both kindness and respect for each other. My grandfather would roll in his grave at this presidency, and at the heated climate of this presidential election. Rightfully so. I think he would be sick to his stomach at the idea that people are willing to trade basic human rights for a stable retirement fund and economic “growth” - if that’s even a thing.
When I told my kids about this family member yesterday, my eldest daughter’s first response was, “I feel sorry for their mother.” Empathy. Her first response was empathy. Rather than the eye rolling, name calling anger that I felt when I think about what divides us, Lucy said, “It must be hard for her to know she raised someone who can hate other people like that.” And I agree. It must be hard. What’s easy for many people in this political season is to sink into their privilege and stay there in the imagined safety of that place. It’s easy to vote from a perspective that the issues at stake here don’t or won’t affect you or your loved ones.
If that’s the case, let me remind you how lucky you are to not have to think about your children being taken from you and put in cages because you have chosen to seek a better life in a country that once prided itself on “bring me your weary…” You don’t have to think about driving (or walking, or shopping, or jogging) while Black. You don’t have to worry that you are 32% more likely to be shot by a law enforcement officer. Because of the color of your skin. You probably also don’t need to worry that the resources that support your family’s survival and success are being cut: Housing and Urban Development and SNAP to name a few. You probably have a great sense of superiority based on the color of your skin and your socioeconomic status. Your supremacy has been validated in these last four years. Why would you consider that systemic racism is an issue if it doesn’t affect you personally?
I wonder if you’ve ever considered that the children you are raising have ovaries and a right to have control over the decisions made about their bodies. I wonder if you’ve thought about the protections for women that have been rolled back by this administration? Protections for victims of sexual assault and discrimination? Title IX rules that make it harder for victims of sexual assault to press charges (hilarious, considering the president you defend has been accused TWENTY SIX TIMES of sexual assault). Have you considered that the gender pay gap during the Trump administration has tripled?
I wonder if you’ve ever considered what it would be like to raise a child who is gay or trans? As a parent, all you ever want in this world is for your child to be happy and healthy. What is it like to weigh health and happiness over the safety of your child’s life as their LGBTQ rights continue to be on the line. I wonder if you’ve ever thought about what it would be like to watch your transgender child suffer a medical emergency with no healthcare because they’re no longer covered under the Affordable Care Act? I wonder if you’ve considered your daughter having a pregnancy that could potentially kill her. What if she needed an abortion to save her own life?
I wonder if you’ve thought about your child having the right to love and marry whomever they want, regardless of their gender. I wonder how you even know what real love is if you can so easily tell someone with your vote that their love doesn’t matter. I wonder if you know that when I’m talking about this, I’m talking about my own children who will forever wonder how it was so easy for you to use your vote to take away their rights. It’s something I hope they’ll sit down and ask you someday. I wonder if you’ve considered that your vote affects family members who are retired, those who work in education, those who would like to put an end to senseless gun violence, and those who believe that our environment is worth saving for our children and our children’s children.
I know I can’t change anyone. If I’ve learned anything in my life it’s that. That’s not the point of writing this. The point is that I can ask questions. I can wonder. I can tell you that when you vote for Donald Trump in this election because he’s done something good for your financial bottom line? It looks to me that you’re choosing to ignore the basic human rights of people in your family. People you say that you love. Frankly, I’m just done defending that stuff anymore. It’s gross. It’s racist. It’s incredibly selfish. And I won’t make my children share a holiday table with people who would vote to hurt them. I just won’t. More people should think and move about this life with the kind of empathy my fifteen year old has. That kind of empathy is what is going to save this country, regardless of what happens on Tuesday.
