Sunday, February 7, 2010

my sisty ugler

My drive home last night was sort of bittersweet.  I had a great time with my big sister – we went out to make up for the night last week when we tried to get out and I had a barfing kid at home.  It was bittersweet because about halfway through the night I started looking at my sister and thinking about how the two of us have done really well without our mom.  Oh, don’t get all sad for us, our mom is still alive – she just sucks. I don’t want to go in to all of the stupid details, but it occurred to me as we were talking that I was sitting across from the closest thing I have to a biological mother who is a willing participant in my life.
I adore my sister – sometimes she points out all the stuff about me that I would prefer people didn’t notice and it makes me want to stab her, but I know she only means the best for me.  I was reminded today watching my own girls play their bizarre game of “Alvin and the Chipmunks”, about how my sister and I used to play “Happy Days” and I always had to be Potsy.  I pretended to hate it, but secretly I thought it was fantastic.  She also made me be Nelly when we played Little House and I never got to be the teacher when we played school. Well, my, my…look at how the tables have turned!  My sister and I went through phases where we detested each other…probably those phases also included most of the years before she left for college. But then some stuff happened and we bonded over it and now I can’t imagine not talking to her or sharing stuff with her.  Wow. I could have told you so much more really juicy stuff about that time in our lives...look at me being an adult. Wheeee!!!
My sister is three years older than I am and most people meet us and think we are nothing alike. In fact, when I am asked about her, I usually tell people we are like “night and day”.  But the more I think about it, the more I realize that the things that are so different about us are not the things you might imagine – and really, not all that important in the end.  I happen to be a bit of a shoe whore.  I also happen to be a bit materialistic and shallow when it comes to clothes and hair.  My sister isn’t that interested in those things at all.  I pay a lot of attention to celebrity gossip and tend to be up on passing trends.  She finds that stuff ridiculous and boring.  I prefer red, she drinks white.  See? The things that come to mind as “night and day” are not of great magnitude, and when I look closer, I find that it is the important, meaningful stuff that really bonds us.  We might appreciate different things, but at our core, we both take deep pride in our marriages, our children and our faith.
Anyway, I just want to say that there are days when I’m certain my big sister wants to slap me around a bit. And so, I would just like to take this moment to say how glad I am that I have her in my life. Some things in my life that revolve around having a good female role model have not gone so well.  Ahem…so I would like to thank my stars that even though she is somewhat obligated as my blood relative (…it obligates some but not others, I suppose) to be there for me, she has managed to stick by me even when I’m a dufus. Thanks, Bis.


  1. Siblings are good things to have. The older you get the more you realize it. I'm so touched by the things you've put out there to share and so glad that you have the same sibling feelings that the four of us share even though our mother didn't quite take the same route as yours. Kiss, kiss, M

  2. Thank you, Mary. I have some great examples from you guys. xoxo

  3. Wow. I just love this! I am the big sister of 2 girls in my family. I am 3 1/2 years older that Jules. I've been thinking so much lately how eternally grateful I am to have her as my sister and my friend. I know that's not a given. We talk almost every day and some days it's about our mom. We know she loves us but we 'survive' her together. Are we lucky or what?!? Beautifully written, Kate. Truly. ~ Kelli

  4. thank you, Kelli. Sisters share a great bond. I hope my own girls feel the same way that we do some day - only I don't want them badmouthing my mothering!! ha ha! I guess THAT is a given, though! :)